PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
The store was empty. Why did Marcie feel like she was being watched?
She heard an even rasp. Shuffling? And heavy breathing? She tried not to panic. A man slunk through the storage room doorway, a gun in hand, a twisted smile on his pocked face. How—? She stumbled backward. The man opened his mouth. “Marcie.”
“Marcie? Hey, Marce. You doze off?” Steve’s face appeared through the fog. “I’m leaving early, remember. You’re okay closing up, right? Big date tonight!”
He rushed for the door. Macie swallowed.
The store was empty. Why did she feel like she was being watched?
To read more 100 word stories based on this photo prompt, hop over to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.
Angela Writes... 
Nice bookending with the same statement
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Neil, thank you!
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Oh, scary and a great loop. Let’s hope that the guy with the gun stays in the daydream-nightmare. Is that a daymare?
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Hehe! I like that; I think it’s a daymare. I’m not sure if she’s paranoid or caught in some strange Twilight Zone scenario.
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it looks like she’s starting to imagine things. better see the doctor before they become a reality.
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You may be right about that! She’ll know soon, I think.
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Wow! That was scary. Deft loopback. Maybe she should trust her instincts and act.
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Thank you! I wasn’t planning to go there, but the more I stared at the photo the more it creeped me out. I’m not sure if it’s in her head or some kind of premonition. Time will tell.
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A very uneasy situation, caught in a constant paranoia of being watched.
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Yes, indeed. Thank you for commenting, James!
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Yikes! I think I’d lock up right then and there, and beat feet out of the place!
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I’m with you there! There are some place to face fears, but this might not be one of them…
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This reminds me of the old axiom, “Just because you are paranoid doesn’t mean they are not out to get you.
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Yes! Sometimes you have to go with your gut.
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:::gulp!!!::: I hope Steve hasn’t left Marcie alone with a stalker maniac!!!!!
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I know… Hopefully she’s just paranoid about the dream!
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Great start and finish, that repetition. And the middle bit is good too. 🙂 I’m shivering in my shoes. Time for Marcie to lock up and go home now.
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Margaret, thank you so much! I think you’re right, I’d be on the move like there was a rocket attached to my rear…
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Nice work! Scary, a dream or real…de javu….
Great story 🙂
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Thank you!
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You are welcome 😊
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Cool little spooky story. I like the repetition … nice touch.
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Thank you! 🙂
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Dear Angela,
The use of the same sentence to begin and end the story packs a punch. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Rochelle, thank you! I was hoping for the feel of being caught in a disorienting loop.
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I hate that feeling. I’ve always been fortunate that it’s only ever been a feeling for me, and there’s never been anyone lurking in the shadows.
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I know, right? Hopefully it’s all in her imagination or a carryover from her dream.
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Nice technique on your beginning and ending! Enjoyed it!
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nice bookending or maybe it’s a continuous loop? Great use of the prompt.
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