Tag: humor

Posted on in 100 word fiction, Friday Fictioneers

The Painting

PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

It stands above them and everyone is drawn to it. After a few drinks, folks swear it has changed; it’s different than last time. “Yeah, sure it has,” their companions rib.

The man in the canvas watches, listens. He absorbs their wild lies, heartfelt truths and mundane facts. In the morning, when the light is good and the room empty, he paints them around himself.

“Whosh the paintah?” A woman slurs. 

The bartender adjusts her glasses. “Last name’s El Mundo. First name, Todd? Todo? That’s it. Crazy foreigner. Nothing like that around here.”

The man in the canvas just smiles. 

As always, many thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting Friday Fictioneers! Stop over and read a wonderful array of 100-word-fiction pieces based on this photo prompt!

Posted on in 100 word fiction, Friday Fictioneers

At the Zoo

PHOTO PROMPT © Robbie Cheadle

“How’s your first week going, Zara?”

“Awful. It’s like I’m on display, but also closed off—everyone has their groups already, so there’s no meaningful connection—no offense, George.”

He shrugged and crammed his red face full of banana. 

“There’s stability, but no excitement. Security, but nothing significant to do,  you know?” Zara shivered and smoothed the fur ring around her face. “It’s mind numbing, like I’m swimming in circles!”

George nodded, rubbed his gloved fingers together, and tossed the banana peel into a lion-shaped trashcan. “It’ll improve. All first office jobs feel like that.” He smiled. “Next stop, penguins?”

As always, many thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting Friday Fictioneers! Stop over and read a wonderful array of 100-word-fiction pieces based on this photo prompt!

Posted on in 100 word fiction, Friday Fictioneers

House That Again?

PHOTO PROMPT ©Sandra Crook

House That Again? 

“It has good bones, but if we buy, this place’ll need an overhaul.”

“Nonsense, Pete, it’s perfect!” Tia spread her arms and twirled around the room. “I wouldn’t touch it for the world. Look at that ceiling, like pages of a book spread open! And those gorgeous windows. And that chandelier—.”

“Let me guess? Exquisite?”

Tia scrunched her nose. “It has to go. And that lamp. And purple lights? Who wanted that? And this carpet will need ripped out. And—.”

“Perfect, huh?”

“No house can stay static forever, dear! How silly of you. Houses have to change with the times!”

As always, many thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting Friday Fictioneers! Stop over and read a wonderful array of 100-word-fiction pieces based on this photo prompt!

Posted on in 100 word fiction, Friday Fictioneers

Identity Crisis

PHOTO PROMPT © Mr. Binks

Your ancestor was celebrated across history for it. Come on, Champ, it’s in your blood. 

Storm: Ending. Sun: Low on horizon. It’s rainbow time. 

You’ll fly over, select the perfect branch. The grand gesture will blow her away.

With rustling wings and a solid thud, Breezie landed beside him. “Haven’t extend that olive brach to Sunrise yet?”

Champ twisted his neck back and forth mournfully.

Breezie smoothed a feather. “Just tell her your own way: Things are gonna be alright.” She flapped her wings and took flight. “FYI,” she cawed over her shoulder, “you’re a seagull, not a dove.”

As always, many thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting Friday Fictioneers! Stop over and read a wonderful array of 100-word-fiction pieces based on this photo prompt!

Posted on in 100 word fiction, Friday Fictioneers

Switching Tactics

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

“We almost there, Mom?” Teddy asked again.

“What do you think?”

“Maybe…if we’re about to enter a PORTAL that’ll drop us off in grandpa’s backyard!” Teddy pressed his nose against the window. “Look at those clouds! Bet you could hop across them, like stepping stones in a stream! ‘Course, that’d make us the METAL-PLATED fish, swimming around. Do you think there are little cars driving FISH around like submarines in the ocean!?!”

“Where’s your Switch?”

“Away.”

“You’ve got one more hour.” 

“Really?!?”

Mom sighed. “Let’s think of it as career training.”

“What for?”

“Your future as a game designer.”

As always, many thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting Friday Fictioneers! Stop over and read a wonderful array of 100-word-fiction pieces based on this photo prompt!

Posted on in 100 word fiction, Friday Fictioneers

Sign Language

I admit it! I wasted way too much time writing this—all the words in today’s story are taken from the signs in the photo (hence a few creative word spellings)—but I adore this barn and had fun combing through the old signs. So, if the signs could speak to a lost driver, using only the words this have at their disposal, what would they say? Maybe something like this…

Prattsville Tavern? Your a visitor. Of course…Musta got lost.

You are here, a dead end. One way to Prattsville is…take a big right below Community Reformed Church. Road closed—caution in detour zone—and turn left at Palazzo’s.

Hall your pick-up truck north—6 miles. This area is under live fire. Keep out. Official business only: Hunters. Do not stop and waste your Sunday. 

Cross east. Do not enter De Wolf Farm—off limits to your big truck—your not allowed at any time. 

Turn right on Daken Trail. Entrance to Prattsville Tavern is in this area. 

As always, many thanks for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting Friday Fictioneers! Stop over and read a wonderful array of 100-word-fiction pieces based on this photo prompt!

Posted on in 100 word fiction, Friday Fictioneers

What to Serve with Pie?

PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

“Pie? Again?” Janie leaned on her elbows and scanned the kitchen. “Every night, the same. Pie. And nothing to show for it except dirty dishes and messy counters. Ugh. I could make cookies, macaroons, truffles, crème brûlée! But nooooooo. Pie. Pie. Pie.”

“Uh, Janie?” Sharon glanced up from her rolling pin. “You ever think of getting a different job?”

The younger girl shrugged. 

“I don’t think you’re gonna cut it here—unless we start serving whine with our pies.”

“Ohhhhh! That’s an idea! I love wine.”

Sharon popped a pie into the oven. “You certainly do, hun. You certainly do.”

As always, many thanks for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting Friday Fictioneers! Stop over and read a wonderful array of 100-word-fiction pieces based on this photo prompt!

Posted on in 100 word fiction, Friday Fictioneers

The Perfect Pie

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

The Perfect Pie

For the most part, Granny was a terrible baker. Her cookies were charcoal-edged and her biscuits kept the dogs busier than marrow bones. But her pies? Perfection. 

I’d follow my nose to the kitchen where the counter was sprinkled with flour, fruit scraps and dirty utensils. I complimented and coaxed, poked furtively in cabinets looking for recipes. No luck. 

Years later she neared the end. “It’s my last chance to ask. What’s your pie secret?”

Granny leaned closer. “I make every one from scratch.” She giggled. “Then I pitch it and buy another, ready-to-bake, from Pie in the Sky. Perfection!”

Many thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting another round of Friday Fictioneers! Drop by to write your own 100-word fiction based on the photo prompt or to enjoy the work of other writers!

Posted on in 100 word fiction, Friday Fictioneers

Across the Generations

PHOTO PROMPT © Ted Strutz

Across the Generations

“I WON’T sleep! Never. Not without DEAR Mr. Bear.” Penny dropped her flushed cheek against the rough quilt and wailed.

“We forgot to pack him, hun. You’ll have to manage.”

“I WANTED to go back. He’ll NEVER forgive me! Oh, Mr. BEAR.”

Mother’s lips danced and she quickly looked away. 

Grandma’s silhouette filled the doorway. “Like mother, like daughter.” 

“Hmmm.” Mother stood and poked her head into the closet. 

“Mr. Rabbit has sat here alone for 20 years, Pen.”

“Whoaaaaa. That’s forEVER.” She exhaled loudly. ”Okay. I’ll take him.”

“You’re a trooper.” Mother kissed Penny’s cheek. “You, too, Mr. Rabbit.”

To read more 100 word stories based on this photo prompt, hop over to Friday Fictioneers, hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff-Fields.

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Trash Day

It’s time again for Friday Fictioneers! Thank you Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting! One photo, 100 words…

Trash Day

Stench stabbed her nostrils as Isabel pushed open her apartment door. The trash. Had it been two weeks? Three? Ugh. It had to go. 

She stabbed the elevator button and tapped her toes as the machine yawned to life. Rushing into the tiny space, trash bag in hand, she nearly gagged, then looked up. A neatly-dressed man with his hands primly behind his back looked uncomfortable. Fantastic.

Counting down the floors, Isabel raced to the dumpster, paused, giving the man time to walk by, then turned, nearly crashing into him.

He held up a bag of familiar-smelling trash and winked.