
PHOTO PROMPT © David Stewart
Goodbye
Sierra waited until her mother’s back spun into view. Then she swallowed hard and ventured cautiously, “Will we ever come back?”
Mama’s shoulders froze, then drooped. She’d been whirling around all morning, like the wooden top Sierra had lovingly packed in a box labeled Knickknacks, but now Mama pivoted slowly, wobbling slightly.
“Here’s hoping! We never know, do we?”
Sierra stared at her, trying to decipher the message beneath the stubborn optimism in her mother’s eyes. Finally, Mama sighed, sank to the floor, and clasped her legs to her chest. “I doubt it.”
“It’s okay, Mama. That’s what I thought.”
As always, many thanks for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting Friday Fictioneers! Stop over and read a wonderful array of 100-word-fiction pieces based on this photo prompt!
The final goodbye is painful, well told.
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It is. Thank you, James.
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A moment of change well captured
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One of those moments where life’s trajectory turns. Thank you, Neil!
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I loved the line, “Sierra stared at her, trying to decipher the message beneath the stubborn optimism in her mother’s eyes.”
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That was one of my favorite lines as well! I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
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I felt the heaviness of her burden.
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It’s a hard place to be, especially a first move for a child. Thank you for reading and commenting, Dawn!
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Just lovely. Details of Mother’s movements, and the comparison with a top work beautifully to give this a fanciful, playful feeling, without undermining the nostalgia and the sense of loss the characters feel.
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Margaret, I’m so glad you picked up on and enjoyed those little details. Thank you so much for such a lovely comment!
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A poignant piece indeed, I felt their anguish through your words.
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Keith, thank you. I’m so glad the piece spoke to you.
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They have each other to start afresh without him. Heartwarming how Mother tries to keep things light but Daughter is not fooled. I think this is why they will figure it out.
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I love how you’ve added another level to the piece! I didn’t actually mention why there were leaving, but I so much enjoy when people contribute to the writing with their own imagination. And yes, I think Mother is trying to be loving by sheltering, but Daughter wants the truth. Thank you for your comment, Dale!
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I love when that happened to me, too so very chuffed you are!
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You pulled me in to your story quickly and I was in tears by the end.
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I’m so glad this story touched you. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
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You’re welcome 🙂
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Sometimes, the kids have to be the strong ones. It’s not fair, but either is life. I have a feeling they’re going to be all right. The next place, assuming, hoping there is one, will be a new adventure where they’ll build new memories. There’s my optimism quota for the year. I am spent.
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I hope things go well for them, also, but unfortunately you’re right, life isn’t always good of fair. And optimism can be wearying. Thank you for reading and commenting. ❤
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i felt her pain. been there, done that. 😦
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Plaridel, me too! Life is full of joys and tears. You never know exactly where you’re going to find either; that’s what keeps it exciting… Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
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The child becomes the parent in the end. Sometimes it’s necessary. There is a lot of pain in this story. Well told!
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Sometimes role reversals do happen. And sometimes parents just don’t know what is right for a child to hear, I think. Thank you for your kind comment, and for reading!
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Oh dear. I like the way you don’t let the reader know why she’s gone, and whether the reason is a happy one or otherwise. Keeps me thinking about it.
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Patrick, thank you for such an insightful comment and read of the piece. It’s true. I’ve been wondering a bit about that myself…
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Oh this has a gut punch at the end. Poor mama. And the understanding of children can be heartbreaking sometimes
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I do think Mama is trying to do the loving thing, but sometimes children see more than parents think. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, Laurie!
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Well written. Hope they find peace and happiness in their next home.
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Meha, thank you! I’m hoping for that as well. ❤
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This is such a tough one, Angela. Mom and daughter, venturing out on their own. Who knows what has brought them to this move. Beautifully written unspoken bond between mother and daughter. Very nice write, Angela.
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Thank you so much for the comment! 🙂
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